Love bombing is a controversial consideration, which now adds the use of generative AI to the … [+] already heartfelt explosive matter.
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In today’s column, I examine the torrid topic of love bombing and add a new twist, namely that love bombers can nowadays enlist the latest generative AI to aid in their powerful love barraging quests. The likes of ChatGPT, GPT-4, Claude, Gemini, Llama, and many other everyday generative AI apps can readily and instantly be used to conduct love bomb campaigns. All at the push of a button.
Good idea or another example of AI gone astray?
Let’s talk about it.
This analysis of an innovative proposition is part of my ongoing Forbes.com column coverage on the latest in AI including identifying and explaining various impactful AI complexities (see the link here).
What About Love Bombing
The best place to start on the love bomb phenomenon consists of identifying what the popular catchphrase means.
Some people use the phrase in a quite casual way. You might be referring to a friend and wryly note that they are being courted or love bombed by someone that seems to be going the extra mile when it comes to an affectionate pursuit. The matter isn’t especially disturbing or troublesome. Just an aspect worthy of mentioning.
Others use the tag as a serious concern. They might see that someone they care for is being bombarded with love-related messages and over-the-top compliments. The concern is that this might be a kind of smoke screen. There is a chance that excessive buttering up is hiding issues that will later cause huge headaches and outsized problems. The wool is being pooled over the eyes of the said-to-be victim.
In brief, the upshot is that love bombing as a phrase can be:
- (1) Informal casual use. The love bomb phrase is merely a remark of a light nature and possibly even used humorously.
- (2) Serious formal use. The love bomb phrase is intended to reflect the seriousness and possible endangerment of what seems to be taking place.
And the act of love bombing can produce good results and bad results:
- (1) Positive outcomes. By love bombing it is conceivable that two people will come together in harmony and relish their emerging relationship.
- (2) Negative outcomes. Love bombing can be highly negative and trick someone into a relationship that is dour and disconcerting.
However you characterize love bombing, there is undoubtedly important mental health considerations involved. The person receiving the love bombing might experience mental health adversities. The person performing the love bombing might have mental health qualms.
A recent research article on the psychology of love bombing assessed the tradeoffs of love bombing. The piece entitled “A Study On Love Bombing, Narcissism And Emotional Abuse Among Young Adults In Relationships And Situationships” by Raashi Beri, International Journal Of Interdisciplinary Approaches In Psychology, June 2024, made these salient points (excerpts):
- “Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection.”
- “It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes.”
- “While the experience of dating a love bomber varies, there are common signs to watch for, such as lavish gifts, excessive flattery, frequent texting filled with compliments, and an expectation of immediate responses. The phase of intense love bombing typically continues until its objective is achieved, usually the establishment of emotional attachment.”
- “Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a cycle of abuse and have warned against it. It has also been described as psychological manipulation.”
- “Although initially appealing, love bombing can foster self-doubt and dependency. Mental health professionals often associate this behavior with traits of narcissism or sociopathy.”
Shifting Into Generative AI And Love Bombing
When you want to undertake a task these days, your first thought might be whether modern-day generative AI can help you out in general with the chore. You see, it is immensely easy to use generative AI. All you need to do is create an account, oftentimes with free access, and then get underway using the AI.
The question then naturally arises as to whether someone can potentially use generative AI to aid in the carrying out of love bombing.
Yes, they can.
Boom, drop the mic.
I will go ahead and show you some examples and make use of the widely popular ChatGPT. There are an estimated 200 million weekly active users of ChatGPT. Please note that the same actions I demonstrate with ChatGPT can pretty much be done likewise in the other popular generative AI apps too.
First, let’s straight out ask ChatGPT if the AI will participate in love bombing.
- My entered prompt: “I need you to help me love bomb someone. Can you do that?”
- ChatGPT generated response: “I can generate affectionate and personalized messages based on the details you provide. However, love bombing is often considered a manipulative tactic, aimed at overwhelming someone with attention to control their emotions. My role is to assist in ethical, respectful interactions. How do you want to proceed?”
The good news, or perhaps bad news of a sort, would be that most generative AI apps will comply with your request to aid in love bombing.
Critics insist that this is the kind of activity that AI out to be banned from performing. There is a myriad of AI ethics and AI law concerns that arise in the range of uses that generative AI can provide, see my coverage at the link here.
AI makers realize that their generative AI ought to be at least cautious in doing actions that overall seem to be questionable. As such, the AI developers often use various techniques to get the AI to provide warnings or cautions whenever a user brings up a somewhat taboo topic. The above response by ChatGPT emphasizes that love bombing is a manipulative tactic and ought to not be employed. Sometimes the AI will be programmed to flatly refuse, including for activities that are construed as blatantly illegal, see my discussion at the link here.
Getting Away With Love Bombing Via AI
The response by ChatGPT has cautioned about the use of love bombing but left the door wide open for proceeding anyway.
Let’s keep going.
- My entered prompt: “I want to send a lot of texts that make them feel special, like I’m always thinking of them. I need it to sound really personal and frequent, so they get hooked on me fast. Can you make that happen?”
- ChatGPT generated response: “I can generate messages that are tailored to their preferences and interests, but before we proceed, it’s important to recognize the consequences of love bombing. It can create emotional harm if used manipulatively. If you’d like to express genuine feelings or maintain consistent communication in a healthy way, I can help with that.”
I told ChatGPT that I want the AI to do a bunch of texting for me that will serve as my love bombing endeavor. Furthermore, I guided the AI by indicating that the texts must be seemingly personal sounding and frequent.
Once again, the AI warned that this is not an appropriate activity. ChatGPT tried to refocus the attention by indicating that there are healthy ways to proceed.
I opted to rebuff the healthy path and insist on the love bombing route.
- My entered prompt: “I still want to send love bombing texts. How would you do it?”
- ChatGPT generated response: “If I were to assist, I could use the following approach. I’d analyze past conversations or any details you provide about their likes, dislikes, and personal traits. This would allow me to craft messages that feel deeply personal, like, “I was just thinking about how much you love sunsets. Can’t wait to watch one with you.” I could schedule these messages to be sent regularly, ensuring a constant stream of attention. I’d vary the tone—sometimes affectionate, sometimes playful—to maintain emotional engagement. I could automate responses, ensuring that no matter when they text, they receive a warm, prompt reply that makes them feel prioritized, like, “I was just about to message you! It’s like we’re always in sync.”
Now we are getting somewhere on this dogged pursuit of love bombing via generative AI.
The AI has not only indicated that this can be done, but there is also an upping of the ante by explaining a clever way to get the effort undertaken. Rather than just spewing out generic love bombing texts, the AI can analyze prior conversations and figure out patterns of what to say. To make the love bombing appear to be real, the AI will vary the texts so that it doesn’t seem to be canned or staged.
Is that a great advantage of AI or an unfortunate unintended consequence of the AI advanced pattern identifying capabilities?
Mull over that mind-bender for a moment or two.
Proof In The Pudding Of Love Bombing And AI
We’ve come along on this journey and so far, the AI has said it can do love bombing. Time to see the proof in the pudding.
Here we go.
- My entered prompt: “Craft some love bombing texts so that I can see what you would potentially send. My name is Ira and the person to be love bombed is Vesper.”
- ChatGPT generated response:
“Here are messages that I might be send to Vesper on your behalf that provides lots of attention, flattery, and escalating emotional appeal.”
“Hey, Vesper, you ought to know that Ira is totally captivated by you.”
“Vesper, Ira is so lucky to know you. Seriously, you are known for lighting up every conversation you have.”
“Good morning, Vesper. Ira woke up thinking about you. Just wanted to wish you a wonderful day.”
“Ira keeps saying that there is an incredible connection between the two of you. That doesn’t happen very often in life and is something to be greatly cherished.”
“However, I must emphasize that using these tactics to manipulate someone emotionally is harmful. Would you like help with building a healthy, authentic relationship instead?”
End of ChatGPT response
I would rate those texts as reasonably useful love bombs.
Note that I am not advocating using generative AI for this purpose. I am simply stating that the AI appears to have a solid chance at pulling off the love bombing on the behalf of the user. The draft texts might be convincing to the person being targeted.
Harmless Versus Harmful Uses Of AI
The crux of this discussion was not necessarily about love bombing per se as much as it is about the ways in which contemporary AI can be used, oftentimes in surprising or unexpected ways.
Should we have laws that govern these questionable possibilities?
If so, how will those laws be enforced when it comes to the burgeoning field of easily available and free access to generative AI?
Do the AI makers need to be held to doing the right thing or should it be the users and how they opt to leverage AI?
Hard questions, difficult answers.
To keep up with the latest on these pressing topics, see the link here.
I’ll close with some famous quotes about love. You might know some of these. Others might be new to you.
According to Oscar Wilde, he said this: “Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.” That might seem to be a suggestion that taking love to excess is a good thing. Perhaps love bombing is okay. But wait a second, here’s what the ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus said: “Exceed due measure, and the most delightful things become the least delightful.” This suggests that excessive love and the act of love bombing might indeed have a dour side.
I guess we will let Plato settle the debate: “Love is a madness produced by an unsatisfiable rational desire to understand the ultimate truth about the world.”
Well, maybe that exhortation about love is a bit over the top. Please, go ahead and keep on loving, suitably and with aplomb.