Are parents just getting worse across the board, or is something else at play? Because unless they’ve got serious developmental issues a 4-5 year old child should not be in nappies.
AcademicIncrease8080 on
There is an ongoing collapse in the standards of parenting, which should be concerning to everyone. How parents raise their children, and the sort of investment and time put into parenting, is statistically far more important than [what school you attend](https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01b9hjs)
The tricky thing is, it’s difficult for the state to teach parents how to be good parents… Bad parenting tends to beget bad parenting, because children raised in volatile households with neglectful parents are themselves likely to parent in the same style.
So buckle in, we’re in for a bumpy ride – humanity seems to be getting dumber, similar to what was predicted in Mike Judge’s [Idiocracy ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiocracy)
flossiefleabag on
The question that was asked to the teachers surveyed was what percentage are not toilet trained. (As in have accidents often). Having accidents is not the same as children being in nappies.
I get that it’s still not acceptable but it isn’t nearly as bad as 1/4 in nappies.
AntonMcTeer on
I still remember a similar article about this issue just a few months back where a parent was quoted as saying something like they were waiting until the school thought it was time to toilet train their child.
CrispoClumbo on
Honestly I blame Instagram and all that shit, ‘gentle parenting’ which seems to often be synonymous with ‘no parenting’. Montessori would be turning in her grave if she knew her research had been reduced to an aesthetic of ikea kallax units filled with beige rainbows.
A kid who’s not using the toilet by themselves at 4 or 5, unless they’ve got a medical reason, had been failed by their parents.
I’m sure we all remember our first day of school, and the feeling of being grown up. Imagine doing it in a nappy.
enkelai on
With the collapse of sure start centres and any kind of help/support/activities, plus nhs appointments or post natal appointments support not existing (our 2md never had a post natal check with the midwife, fortunately she didnt need it). The cost of living meaning people are stressed more with diminishing mental health means it is a lot more challenging for parents at the mo.
Add to that people who did not have good parenting modelled to them, people coming from disasvantaged backgrounds and it makes for the state that people are in now.
Its easy to blame it on iPads and different genrational differences (why we cant support instead of blame baffles me……) but there is a much bigger issue at the route here.
We are also no away from the mentality of “it takes a village to raise a child” just due to modern ways of life.
So if you want to challenge this issue. For those of you who don’t have kids, check in on those who do (esldcially with young kids). If you have been through it yourself. Offer support but dont start spouting what worked for you, unless asked. Geandparents, be there, and not just for the fun stuff. Let mum and/or dad be themsleves. Give them time to embrace what makes them them, not just mum and/or dad.
Jackster22 on
Wait, are you telling me that the iPad does not teach them how to use a toilet?
I thought that was what they were for…
PurdyM on
I work in a school nursery and children are being toilet trained later, in my experience anyway . We usually initiate the conversation with parents and work with them to get their children dry. I will say too that nappies are so good these days little children don’t feel uncomfortable or wet and aren’t in any rush to get them off which was a factor years ago. There is parental laziness too no doubt .
jackiesear on
Children used to be toilet trained really young because washing cloth nappies and leakage on clothes and bedding were a big hassle especially in homes with outside toilets and no washing machines. Then dispoasbles came along but were expensive and so people trained their children mostly by age 2 and half or 3 o save money and so that the children could attend pre school playgroups. Now nappies and pull ups are really cheap and it is so much easier for a lot of people to keep their children in those, they are much more absorbant so can last many hours without leakage and are discreet looking under clothes. Schools used to tell you that your child needed to be dry to start and it would be a huge source of shame and embarassment if your child wasn’t. Now people don’t seem to care, not the same societal mores. anymore or community cohesion. Infant and Junior teachers know there will be “little accidents ” sometimes but shouldn’t be spending a lot of time dealing with children in nappies!
Edit Typos
Bananasonfire on
Schools shouldn’t even be allowing children who aren’t toilet trained to attend. Take a firm stance. If your child isn’t toilet trained (and doesn’t have some sort of developmental disability) by the time they reach school, you get a visit from social services because you are clearly unfit to be a parent.
Tea_cosy_repair_team on
It’s because nappies these days are too comfortable. When I was growing up it was Terry nappies, bulky and I have very early memories of being uncomfortable so I was probably more keen to potty train. Nowadays children are so comfy there’s no incentive to get out of them.
nettie_r on
I don’t think it is a coincidence that health visitor numbers have declined substantially over the same period.
Previously parents would get much more support and focus from their health visitor including additional contact time if their child was not seen to be meeting key development milestones like toilet training ahead of starting school.
These days parents have much less health visitor contact and it doesn’t help that many parents don’t respect the input they have either sadly.
Acceptable_Fox8156 on
It doesn’t help that the parents themselves usually are a bit thick. Honestly, I feel like Albert Einstein when I walk onto the school playground to pick up my kids from primary school.
Illegallydumb on
Because of iPads being the biggest childcare tool and kids being mostly ignored by their parents because either they’re asshats or they have to work extra jobs in this shitty economy just to support themselves and their families
jepeggys on
As a parent of one of the 1 in 4: my son is clearly autistic (sorry mate that’s from me) I would get full blown meltdowns at even the mere suggestion of moving to normal pants. I should point out that he was fully toilet trained just wouldn’t not wear nappies. Not helped that before school he only had 40/50words he could say. Discussions with the teacher regarding this for which I said hopefully he gets picked on for it and then he’ll not want to wear them anymore. Lo and behold three weeks in and on a random Wednesday he just asked for “big boy pants” and hasn’t looked back since. Turns out he got picked on for it.
JimDodd0 on
This is a result of infantalising parenting, and being too lax with social media for the last 15 years.
At least that’s how I feel.
WitteringLaconic on
Ban disposable nappies. Force parents to use terry towelling nappies you have to wash. See how quick they manage to potty train kids then.
17 Comments
Are parents just getting worse across the board, or is something else at play? Because unless they’ve got serious developmental issues a 4-5 year old child should not be in nappies.
There is an ongoing collapse in the standards of parenting, which should be concerning to everyone. How parents raise their children, and the sort of investment and time put into parenting, is statistically far more important than [what school you attend](https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01b9hjs)
The tricky thing is, it’s difficult for the state to teach parents how to be good parents… Bad parenting tends to beget bad parenting, because children raised in volatile households with neglectful parents are themselves likely to parent in the same style.
So buckle in, we’re in for a bumpy ride – humanity seems to be getting dumber, similar to what was predicted in Mike Judge’s [Idiocracy ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiocracy)
The question that was asked to the teachers surveyed was what percentage are not toilet trained. (As in have accidents often). Having accidents is not the same as children being in nappies.
I get that it’s still not acceptable but it isn’t nearly as bad as 1/4 in nappies.
I still remember a similar article about this issue just a few months back where a parent was quoted as saying something like they were waiting until the school thought it was time to toilet train their child.
Honestly I blame Instagram and all that shit, ‘gentle parenting’ which seems to often be synonymous with ‘no parenting’. Montessori would be turning in her grave if she knew her research had been reduced to an aesthetic of ikea kallax units filled with beige rainbows.
A kid who’s not using the toilet by themselves at 4 or 5, unless they’ve got a medical reason, had been failed by their parents.
I’m sure we all remember our first day of school, and the feeling of being grown up. Imagine doing it in a nappy.
With the collapse of sure start centres and any kind of help/support/activities, plus nhs appointments or post natal appointments support not existing (our 2md never had a post natal check with the midwife, fortunately she didnt need it). The cost of living meaning people are stressed more with diminishing mental health means it is a lot more challenging for parents at the mo.
Add to that people who did not have good parenting modelled to them, people coming from disasvantaged backgrounds and it makes for the state that people are in now.
Its easy to blame it on iPads and different genrational differences (why we cant support instead of blame baffles me……) but there is a much bigger issue at the route here.
We are also no away from the mentality of “it takes a village to raise a child” just due to modern ways of life.
So if you want to challenge this issue. For those of you who don’t have kids, check in on those who do (esldcially with young kids). If you have been through it yourself. Offer support but dont start spouting what worked for you, unless asked. Geandparents, be there, and not just for the fun stuff. Let mum and/or dad be themsleves. Give them time to embrace what makes them them, not just mum and/or dad.
Wait, are you telling me that the iPad does not teach them how to use a toilet?
I thought that was what they were for…
I work in a school nursery and children are being toilet trained later, in my experience anyway . We usually initiate the conversation with parents and work with them to get their children dry. I will say too that nappies are so good these days little children don’t feel uncomfortable or wet and aren’t in any rush to get them off which was a factor years ago. There is parental laziness too no doubt .
Children used to be toilet trained really young because washing cloth nappies and leakage on clothes and bedding were a big hassle especially in homes with outside toilets and no washing machines. Then dispoasbles came along but were expensive and so people trained their children mostly by age 2 and half or 3 o save money and so that the children could attend pre school playgroups. Now nappies and pull ups are really cheap and it is so much easier for a lot of people to keep their children in those, they are much more absorbant so can last many hours without leakage and are discreet looking under clothes. Schools used to tell you that your child needed to be dry to start and it would be a huge source of shame and embarassment if your child wasn’t. Now people don’t seem to care, not the same societal mores. anymore or community cohesion. Infant and Junior teachers know there will be “little accidents ” sometimes but shouldn’t be spending a lot of time dealing with children in nappies!
Edit Typos
Schools shouldn’t even be allowing children who aren’t toilet trained to attend. Take a firm stance. If your child isn’t toilet trained (and doesn’t have some sort of developmental disability) by the time they reach school, you get a visit from social services because you are clearly unfit to be a parent.
It’s because nappies these days are too comfortable. When I was growing up it was Terry nappies, bulky and I have very early memories of being uncomfortable so I was probably more keen to potty train. Nowadays children are so comfy there’s no incentive to get out of them.
I don’t think it is a coincidence that health visitor numbers have declined substantially over the same period.
Previously parents would get much more support and focus from their health visitor including additional contact time if their child was not seen to be meeting key development milestones like toilet training ahead of starting school.
These days parents have much less health visitor contact and it doesn’t help that many parents don’t respect the input they have either sadly.
It doesn’t help that the parents themselves usually are a bit thick. Honestly, I feel like Albert Einstein when I walk onto the school playground to pick up my kids from primary school.
Because of iPads being the biggest childcare tool and kids being mostly ignored by their parents because either they’re asshats or they have to work extra jobs in this shitty economy just to support themselves and their families
As a parent of one of the 1 in 4: my son is clearly autistic (sorry mate that’s from me) I would get full blown meltdowns at even the mere suggestion of moving to normal pants. I should point out that he was fully toilet trained just wouldn’t not wear nappies. Not helped that before school he only had 40/50words he could say. Discussions with the teacher regarding this for which I said hopefully he gets picked on for it and then he’ll not want to wear them anymore. Lo and behold three weeks in and on a random Wednesday he just asked for “big boy pants” and hasn’t looked back since. Turns out he got picked on for it.
This is a result of infantalising parenting, and being too lax with social media for the last 15 years.
At least that’s how I feel.
Ban disposable nappies. Force parents to use terry towelling nappies you have to wash. See how quick they manage to potty train kids then.