Deport them back to Germany and Mordor respectively.
WontThinkStraight on
>It’s true that JD Vance ate my dog because I wrote it on the internet
I just read this on the internet and it aligns with what I want to believe, so it must be true! I knew it!
AgentJackSmith on
Serious question: could the Haitian migrants who are here legally in Springfield file a slander lawsuit against trump, JD, and Fox?
t700r on
But did Musk give you a child to replace the cat that he ate?
conspiracy_troll on
“Elon Musk ate my worm farm!”
“True story: Elon Musk ate my ferret.”
“He ate my kitten. I was at a conference where he was one day, holding my kitten. He grabbed it from my hand, poured ketchup on it, and just started chomping into it. It was so scary.”
AlarmingSpecialist88 on
Donald Trump fucked my hamster!!
superzepto on
As as journalist, I gotta say that’s one of the most hilarious headlines I’ve ever read
Arikaido777 on
Weird that Jumbled Doofus Vance had time to be eating pets, figured he’d be busy fucking couches
l-Am-Him-1 on
Trump sucked my fullness in ’97
mm4646 on
With the Republicans every acussation is a confession. Atleast that is how it seems to work out up until now. So with the whole pet eating thing, will it be the same?
ExploreTrails on
I saw a picture of the Trump boys preparing to eat a giant cat.
Deadaghram on
Let’s not forget that Ted Cruz ate my son.
e_t_ on
Ted Cruz ate my son
barriedalenick on
Musk seems to have a bit of cat stuck on his upper lip
kaoh5647 on
When you’re famous they just let you do it you know?
OakTeach on
I’m pretty sure Elon Musk doesn’t care enough about women to eat any cat, ever.
PaApprazer on
I thought it was LEON!?!
Bebopdavidson on
Now’s a good time to remember that Scientologists will actually kill your pets if you try to leave the church.
progtastical on
Many people are saying it.
SimplyMonkey on
RFK Jr. ate my bear.
mahamoti on
Are you sure they both weren’t RFK Jr in disguise?
JD Vance- “I’ll take some of the dogs….some of those cats…parakeets, guinea pigs. Whatever makes sense.”
thorazainBeer on
Damn, you know they’re doing bad when they’ve even lost USA Today.
RedofPaw on
Jesus. I knew Leon mask was crazy, but I didn’t realise he ate cats. It’s true, because I read it on the interweb.
Elaxor on
It’s real, I saw this on Xitter.
imflowrr on
Alex Jones at my ass and now says it was just a hoax
zmwang on
In seriousness, one of the things I’ve come to realize is that when it comes to batshit beliefs in the vein of “Obama is a Kenyan Muslim!!”, it’s like the way their minds work is so fundamentally alien that most sane, rational people couldn’t pull it off. Like, they wouldn’t even know where to begin.
“Rudy Giuliani was born a woman!! He had a sex change! He really did!! There’s proof on the internet!!”
This would never gain any traction, because it’s the stupidest fucking thing to believe. I don’t know how they do it.
operarose on
Ted Cruz ate my son. I read about it on Facebook.
AttackPony on
JD Vance, who would actually be president because Donald is so old and wouldn’t last long, broke into an IKEA after hours so he could biblically know the sofas. I’ve got a signed affidavit.
helen269 on
Reminds me of the stupid “Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster” newspaper headline we had here in the UK years ago.
The_Triagnaloid on
Before the cat eating stories came out it was revealed that Barron trump had tortured and killed many of his pets.
I wonder if these things are connected?
eastcoastelite12 on
I was afraid to speak out but now I want the world to know…JD Vance ate my hermit crab.
florkingarshole on
I heard it on my radio, and I read it on the internet for confirmation. It’s obviously 100% true!!!
JD Vants is a bedbug and a dog eater, and Muskrat eats cats!
2 disgusting individuals 100% confirmed!
According_Smoke1385 on
Middle of the night. Helicopter lands in the field and all of a sudden we see Musk running for the goat pen. He grabs a baby goat and starts eating its face. No ketchup or anything!
It all happened so fast.
Elon Musk ate our baby goat. It’s true
NickConnor365 on
Not unless he sees it on the tv.
can-opener-in-a-can on
My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Elon Musk eat someone’s cat last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.
DelightfulAbsurdity on
JD Vance did…*terrible* things to my couch, right before he ate it. I mean, he just chewed right the hell through wood and swallowed metal brackets whole.
Then he left.
It was pretty weird, guys.
GrapesForSnacks on
its true, I saw it on the TV
Shoddy-Rip8259 on
This seems more plausible anyway
the_gouged_eye on
I saw a trumpanzee eating fascist bullshit.
Automatic_Goat_243 on
Republicans are raping the cats.
They’re raping the dogs.
They’re raping the pets of the people that live there.
48 Comments
Blood libel… but with Haitians and pets.
Deport them back to Germany and Mordor respectively.
>It’s true that JD Vance ate my dog because I wrote it on the internet
I just read this on the internet and it aligns with what I want to believe, so it must be true! I knew it!
Serious question: could the Haitian migrants who are here legally in Springfield file a slander lawsuit against trump, JD, and Fox?
But did Musk give you a child to replace the cat that he ate?
“Elon Musk ate my worm farm!”
“True story: Elon Musk ate my ferret.”
“He ate my kitten. I was at a conference where he was one day, holding my kitten. He grabbed it from my hand, poured ketchup on it, and just started chomping into it. It was so scary.”
Donald Trump fucked my hamster!!
As as journalist, I gotta say that’s one of the most hilarious headlines I’ve ever read
Weird that Jumbled Doofus Vance had time to be eating pets, figured he’d be busy fucking couches
Trump sucked my fullness in ’97
With the Republicans every acussation is a confession. Atleast that is how it seems to work out up until now. So with the whole pet eating thing, will it be the same?
I saw a picture of the Trump boys preparing to eat a giant cat.
Let’s not forget that Ted Cruz ate my son.
Ted Cruz ate my son
Musk seems to have a bit of cat stuck on his upper lip
When you’re famous they just let you do it you know?
I’m pretty sure Elon Musk doesn’t care enough about women to eat any cat, ever.
I thought it was LEON!?!
Now’s a good time to remember that Scientologists will actually kill your pets if you try to leave the church.
Many people are saying it.
RFK Jr. ate my bear.
Are you sure they both weren’t RFK Jr in disguise?
Oh shit. I read it online. It must be true
What a shit show
[`Click here to visit the J.D. Vance ATE MY BALLS! webring`](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ate_my_balls)
JD Vance- “I’ll take some of the dogs….some of those cats…parakeets, guinea pigs. Whatever makes sense.”
Damn, you know they’re doing bad when they’ve even lost USA Today.
Jesus. I knew Leon mask was crazy, but I didn’t realise he ate cats. It’s true, because I read it on the interweb.
It’s real, I saw this on Xitter.
Alex Jones at my ass and now says it was just a hoax
In seriousness, one of the things I’ve come to realize is that when it comes to batshit beliefs in the vein of “Obama is a Kenyan Muslim!!”, it’s like the way their minds work is so fundamentally alien that most sane, rational people couldn’t pull it off. Like, they wouldn’t even know where to begin.
“Rudy Giuliani was born a woman!! He had a sex change! He really did!! There’s proof on the internet!!”
This would never gain any traction, because it’s the stupidest fucking thing to believe. I don’t know how they do it.
Ted Cruz ate my son. I read about it on Facebook.
JD Vance, who would actually be president because Donald is so old and wouldn’t last long, broke into an IKEA after hours so he could biblically know the sofas. I’ve got a signed affidavit.
Reminds me of the stupid “Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster” newspaper headline we had here in the UK years ago.
Before the cat eating stories came out it was revealed that Barron trump had tortured and killed many of his pets.
I wonder if these things are connected?
I was afraid to speak out but now I want the world to know…JD Vance ate my hermit crab.
I heard it on my radio, and I read it on the internet for confirmation. It’s obviously 100% true!!!
JD Vants is a bedbug and a dog eater, and Muskrat eats cats!
2 disgusting individuals 100% confirmed!
Middle of the night. Helicopter lands in the field and all of a sudden we see Musk running for the goat pen. He grabs a baby goat and starts eating its face. No ketchup or anything!
It all happened so fast.
Elon Musk ate our baby goat. It’s true
Not unless he sees it on the tv.
My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Elon Musk eat someone’s cat last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.
JD Vance did…*terrible* things to my couch, right before he ate it. I mean, he just chewed right the hell through wood and swallowed metal brackets whole.
Then he left.
It was pretty weird, guys.
its true, I saw it on the TV
This seems more plausible anyway
I saw a trumpanzee eating fascist bullshit.
Republicans are raping the cats.
They’re raping the dogs.
They’re raping the pets of the people that live there.
[give it 10 days, and this will be most of the magafolk](https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxqoQWc7a1MGCYdkv1taBAlHAmnth-HDDL?si=D6LEZU1oEymFVhpw)
They brought up election fraud, and got caught more than the people they were trying to blame.
They brought up pedophilia, and got caught more than the people they were trying to blame.
They tried to take on OSHA, and they ended up causing more work-related deaths, and ended up making vehicles that just did not work.
They brought up illegal immigration, and lost their workers who were in charge of picking food off the farms.
They’re going to ruin themselves by themselves on this scapegoat, too.
Magic eight ball No
I’d like to see that complaint get rectified!