Bear stories, whale stories, worm stories, who is this guy? Dr. Doolittle?
zuggles on
of course he did.
Shiplord13 on
Trump and his whale beheading friend RFK jr.
OppositeDifference on
>Bobby—who likes to study animal skulls and skeletons—ran down to the beach with a chain saw, cut off the whale’s head, and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York. “Every time we accelerated on the highway, whale juice would pour into the windows of the car, and it was the rankest thing on the planet,” Kick recalls. “We all had plastic bags over our heads with mouth holes cut out, and people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day-to-day stuff for us.”
I….. have nothing to add here. I believe the above quote stands on its own without further explanation.
mr_oof on
r/nottheonion is leaking?
mudpiechicken on
The only thing he’d do worse at than being president is being a vet.
iBeej on
What’s next? Cutting the head off a bird, duct taping it back on and trading it with a blind kid for trading cards?
hosstyle24 on
Well he’s eccentric that’s for sure
deviousmajik on
For an ‘environmentalist’ he sure is dismembering a lot of animals.
Billionaires_R_Tasty on
They really, really don’t want us to move on from the “weird” thing, do they? Every time I think it has run its course, JD Vance tries to order food again or RFK joins the most disturbing 3-way in history and some other weird shit about him and animals comes out. I’m waiting to find out he ingested the brain worm intentionally. Damn these guys are all so freaking weird.
JT_Cullen84 on
I have so many questions:
Why did he have a chainsaw?
Why was his first thought when seeing a dead whale was to grab said chainsaw and cut it’s head off like he was in a 70s horror movie?
How many bungee cords is needed to secure a decapitated whale head to the roof of a minivan?
Did no one in the van say ‘Hey bobby…this might not be the best idea, bud.’?
At any point did he think to cut his losses and ditch the whale’s head on the side of the road like a bear cub in central park?
CommodoreKrusty on
This might be a little bit off topic but…is everybody in US politics crazy?
nuxvomica on
I just heard a collective WTF.
goddoc on
Please, for the love of god, do not say that JD VANCE THEN FUCKED THE BLOW HOLE!
He probably didn’t, and even if he did it was years ago.
ITeechYoKidsArt on
The only way he could top all of this would be posting some camping pictures from his custom RV made from two dead elephants and a 2014 Chrysler Town and Country.
aftertheradar on
what the fuck is wrong with this guy
Cephalopod_astronaut on
The one good thing about Kennedy’s run is all the weird but true stories coming out about him. I hope there’s more to come.
NegotiationSea7008 on
Thank goodness they bought in someone who isn’t weird.
pl487 on
You know, I’m starting to think that this RFK Jr. guy is not a good person.
embossedsilver on
He’s like an Always Sunny character.
Top_Huckleberry_8225 on
There’s a lot to unpack there. I love this timeline.
Someone said that the bear story was the last precursor to a story of how he’s killed someone. I truly believe this one might be the actual final straw. The next story is the one where someone died by his hand, watch.
Vegetable_Train_4992 on
James Carville nailed it… “that boy ain’t right”.
lowmankind on
I’m starting to suspect that RFK Jr is not actually a real person and is instead some sort of long-form performance art by a washed-up 80s actor who never fully rehabilitated
SinningSynapses on
If I had a lot of money, I know the first thing I’d do find every opportunity to go out of my way to casually murder animals and strip them apart with elaborate acts of gore like a cult sacrifice and joke about it with the same reverence one does when auntie gets a little carried away at drunken Karoake?
Minimum_Intention848 on
OK I hypothesized that the bear in the park story was a plant and a coded message.
Bear = Russian
Bicycle = Technology
Left posed in the park = sending someone a message like the horses head in the Godfather because lets face it a lot of somebodies live around Central Park.
Gonna say…
Whale is a super wealthy person.
Taking the head is symbolically making sure their name is erased from history like invaders did to ancient statues.
The kids getting covered in giblets is saying doing so impacted his family.
Real mafia shit
Thorn_and_Thimble on
I thought you weren’t allowed to scavenge whale carcasses on the beach.
Imhere4thejokes on
Listen to this guy’s “Behind the Bastards” episodes and you’ll find he’s a pretty fucked up dude that has some weird fascinations with dead animals.
funksoldier83 on
Dude belongs in a looney bin. But because he’s from a rich family he gets to influence national politics instead.
EvadingService on
Standards keep getting lower … remember when Mitt Romney was roasted for transporting their family Irish Setter atop the family-values station wagon? I didn’t vote for Mitt, but doubt he ever had dark evil shit in his heart. I long for simpler times. RFK is super strange dude, hangs out with Roseanne Barr (gag), also did NOT deny groping his kids babysitter, is a Kennedy, and so on and so on ….
Wish November 5th was tomorrow!!!
Vote Blue wherever you vote✌️🇺🇸
Mojo12000 on
What the hell is wrong with this guy.
birthdayanon08 on
So he carries around a chainsaw and enough bungee cords to strap down a whale head? Will someone tell me why the FBI hasn’t checked out this guys backyard with ground penetrating xray yet?
Puttor482 on
That sound you hear is Bobby Kennedy rolling in his grave!
MadDogV2 on
Yeah umm, I think there might still be more worms in there
walrus_friends on
This dude has lived the life of a Wes Anderson character’s cut-away life story montage
Jomanji on
Rosemary Kennedy was lobotomized for FAR less.
RatherBeHomesick on
But, did he ever finish preserving the whale skull? For an amateur taxidermist, we never actually see the final product. Does someone do that part for him? What did the family do with the whale head?
sdrj77 on
What in the blue hell is happening to this guy?
The whole family has got to just have pictures of him near the front door that say, “Do not let in the house.” at this point.
Ilikepancakes87 on
See, Donald was playing the long game with that endorsement. He knew Kamala hadn’t yet locked up the whale beheader vote, so he just swooped in and grabbed it.
What_the_Pie on
This whale head story is wild, and not because he cut a whale head off with a chainsaw, it’s because it’s like the most rich guy douchebag type thing. Trump, Vance, RFK, Elon…all rich guys completely disconnected from reality and operating with no accountability. They have zero idea what it’s like going to work, running home, getting dinner going, managing kids, cleaning up the kitchen. Zero idea what the vast, vast majority live like. Who cuts off a whale head? Fucking rich weirdos who think because they’re rich, they should be president.
43 Comments
Someone needs to put a bell on this guy.
Bear stories, whale stories, worm stories, who is this guy? Dr. Doolittle?
of course he did.
Trump and his whale beheading friend RFK jr.
>Bobby—who likes to study animal skulls and skeletons—ran down to the beach with a chain saw, cut off the whale’s head, and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York. “Every time we accelerated on the highway, whale juice would pour into the windows of the car, and it was the rankest thing on the planet,” Kick recalls. “We all had plastic bags over our heads with mouth holes cut out, and people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day-to-day stuff for us.”
I….. have nothing to add here. I believe the above quote stands on its own without further explanation.
r/nottheonion is leaking?
The only thing he’d do worse at than being president is being a vet.
What’s next? Cutting the head off a bird, duct taping it back on and trading it with a blind kid for trading cards?
Well he’s eccentric that’s for sure
For an ‘environmentalist’ he sure is dismembering a lot of animals.
They really, really don’t want us to move on from the “weird” thing, do they? Every time I think it has run its course, JD Vance tries to order food again or RFK joins the most disturbing 3-way in history and some other weird shit about him and animals comes out. I’m waiting to find out he ingested the brain worm intentionally. Damn these guys are all so freaking weird.
I have so many questions:
Why did he have a chainsaw?
Why was his first thought when seeing a dead whale was to grab said chainsaw and cut it’s head off like he was in a 70s horror movie?
How many bungee cords is needed to secure a decapitated whale head to the roof of a minivan?
Did no one in the van say ‘Hey bobby…this might not be the best idea, bud.’?
At any point did he think to cut his losses and ditch the whale’s head on the side of the road like a bear cub in central park?
This might be a little bit off topic but…is everybody in US politics crazy?
I just heard a collective WTF.
Please, for the love of god, do not say that JD VANCE THEN FUCKED THE BLOW HOLE!
He probably didn’t, and even if he did it was years ago.
The only way he could top all of this would be posting some camping pictures from his custom RV made from two dead elephants and a 2014 Chrysler Town and Country.
what the fuck is wrong with this guy
The one good thing about Kennedy’s run is all the weird but true stories coming out about him. I hope there’s more to come.
Thank goodness they bought in someone who isn’t weird.
You know, I’m starting to think that this RFK Jr. guy is not a good person.
He’s like an Always Sunny character.
There’s a lot to unpack there. I love this timeline.
[A whale you say?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6CLumsir34)
I cannot believe this isn’t an Onion headline.
Someone said that the bear story was the last precursor to a story of how he’s killed someone. I truly believe this one might be the actual final straw. The next story is the one where someone died by his hand, watch.
James Carville nailed it… “that boy ain’t right”.
I’m starting to suspect that RFK Jr is not actually a real person and is instead some sort of long-form performance art by a washed-up 80s actor who never fully rehabilitated
If I had a lot of money, I know the first thing I’d do find every opportunity to go out of my way to casually murder animals and strip them apart with elaborate acts of gore like a cult sacrifice and joke about it with the same reverence one does when auntie gets a little carried away at drunken Karoake?
OK I hypothesized that the bear in the park story was a plant and a coded message.
Bear = Russian
Bicycle = Technology
Left posed in the park = sending someone a message like the horses head in the Godfather because lets face it a lot of somebodies live around Central Park.
Gonna say…
Whale is a super wealthy person.
Taking the head is symbolically making sure their name is erased from history like invaders did to ancient statues.
The kids getting covered in giblets is saying doing so impacted his family.
Real mafia shit
I thought you weren’t allowed to scavenge whale carcasses on the beach.
Listen to this guy’s “Behind the Bastards” episodes and you’ll find he’s a pretty fucked up dude that has some weird fascinations with dead animals.
Dude belongs in a looney bin. But because he’s from a rich family he gets to influence national politics instead.
Standards keep getting lower … remember when Mitt Romney was roasted for transporting their family Irish Setter atop the family-values station wagon? I didn’t vote for Mitt, but doubt he ever had dark evil shit in his heart. I long for simpler times. RFK is super strange dude, hangs out with Roseanne Barr (gag), also did NOT deny groping his kids babysitter, is a Kennedy, and so on and so on ….
Wish November 5th was tomorrow!!!
Vote Blue wherever you vote✌️🇺🇸
What the hell is wrong with this guy.
So he carries around a chainsaw and enough bungee cords to strap down a whale head? Will someone tell me why the FBI hasn’t checked out this guys backyard with ground penetrating xray yet?
That sound you hear is Bobby Kennedy rolling in his grave!
Yeah umm, I think there might still be more worms in there
This dude has lived the life of a Wes Anderson character’s cut-away life story montage
Rosemary Kennedy was lobotomized for FAR less.
But, did he ever finish preserving the whale skull? For an amateur taxidermist, we never actually see the final product. Does someone do that part for him? What did the family do with the whale head?
What in the blue hell is happening to this guy?
The whole family has got to just have pictures of him near the front door that say, “Do not let in the house.” at this point.
See, Donald was playing the long game with that endorsement. He knew Kamala hadn’t yet locked up the whale beheader vote, so he just swooped in and grabbed it.
This whale head story is wild, and not because he cut a whale head off with a chainsaw, it’s because it’s like the most rich guy douchebag type thing. Trump, Vance, RFK, Elon…all rich guys completely disconnected from reality and operating with no accountability. They have zero idea what it’s like going to work, running home, getting dinner going, managing kids, cleaning up the kitchen. Zero idea what the vast, vast majority live like. Who cuts off a whale head? Fucking rich weirdos who think because they’re rich, they should be president.